Until Then

The past year or so of this blog has been bipolar at best. One day it's all about misery and despair. And the very next, I write a whole entry about my strength and ability to sift through the previous misery and despair. Back and forth. Pain and joy. Up, down. Up, down. Bam. Bam! BAM!

So rather than spinning myself around and around, I'm going on hiatus. I need some time to sift through the bullshit that has inundated me. I need some time to figure out if I'm actually going to give humanity one more chance, or if this last go at it was all I can take. For so long I've felt like I've simultaneously been soaring and drowning. And it's enough.

It may be the first time ever, but I am totally numb today. Numb. I can hardly bring myself to write anything because there's just nothing left to say. I weighed and measured; I gave and loved; I didn't let fear rule me; I worked on this flaw and that issue; and where did it get me? The same place as if I'd stayed guarded and hurtful and angry and jaded.

Love's been kicking me in the face for years and years. And I've had enough of trying to figure out how to make it stop. So there, Love! You win. You haven't just beaten me down, you've driven me out of town.

Until Then....