In here

Mom, look, I know you want to meet me already. But I have to be honest...it's kind of nice where I'm living right now, and I'm a little reluctant to join the outside world.

I mean, I get to eat whenever I want - things you probably won't feed me when I'm out there hanging out with you (like grilled cheese 5 days in a row or chocolate milk made with 2% milk). You'll go back to eating "healthy" food. Ugh. And that's what I'll be stuck with, too. And I'm gonna have to wait to eat. Um...no thanks.

And if I come out, then I'm going to have to do all sorts of things on my own. Breathing, for instance. Or telling you when I'm cold, or bored, or (as noted above) hungry. That all seems like a whole lot of effort.

I'll be honest, though, it is getting a little cramped in here. And every time I want to stretch out your ribs get in my way! I mean, couldn't you be a least a little more accommodating? Oh! And what's that giant echoing heartbeat sound you subjected me to yesterday for 30 min? It was so loud...and I was trying to sleep! In truth, this home of mine has been pretty awesome for the past 9 months, but now people keep poking at me, and pushing on me, and waking me up. What's up with that, Mom?! Can't I just be comfortable in here again?

Just so you know, though, you're not fooling me. I know you're trying to make me uncomfortable so I'll come see you finally. Well, guess what?! I'm just as stubborn as you, so I'll come out only when *I* feel like it! :-p