It's been quite interesting watching people's faces when I tell them I'm divorced. The looks I get fall into two categories: 1) uncomfortable paralysis or 2) pity. I'm apt to wonder if this is a sexist response of if C gets the same thing. Because I think he probably doesn't get the pity face. In its stead, I suspect #2 for him is the "dude, that sucks" face.
Why those reactions? Uncomfortable paralysis...the "I haven no idea what to say. I feel really awkward " face. Why not just "Oh, okay. How is that going?" I hate how people are afraid to talk about things that are even mildly out there. I mean does the fact that we are afraid to ask someone we've known for 15 years about something like divorce (oh no! The big D. I've said it. Someone might see my scarlet letter) make our impersonal culture any better. Not in my opinion.
Yeah, I've had this sort of rebirth about being open, so it's easier for me to feel frustrated when people are terrified of asking . But come on...it's just divorce. Half the married people in the US experience it. Maybe if we could talk about it without whispers and hunched shoulders, the stigma could be dropped.
Hey! I'm divorced (or as soon as the State of Massachusetts signs the paperwork in 90 days...tick tock). That does not make me damaged. It just makes me more knowledgeable than I was ten years ago.
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