When One Door Closes

I used to have a book that explained the origins of all kinds of expressions and idioms. But when I moved to the middle of the Pacific, the box I packed it in apparently disintegrated and all the contents were scattered about in some postal facility. (Actually, a lot of my favorite books and my diploma from grad school were in that box.) I wish I had that book now because I would look up the saying "When one door close, another opens..." something, something. I can't actually remember the wording. (Yeah, I could use the interweb to figure it out, but I like books better!)

This expression - whatever it is - seemed apropos these past couple of weeks. Except I feel like I'm in a funhouse, with twenty doors lining a hallway, flapping open and shut in rapid succession. And oddly, some of the ones that have shut (and I'd assumed were supposed to stay shut) open again. Bang, slam, whoosh. Run to that one, now that one, go, go, go! It might shut soon. Look inside while you have the chance. It might not open ever again...but then again, it might. Some may never open, sealed off from me infinitely. And some never shut, endless possibility. Sometimes it feels like they're all closed simultaneously, and I have to sit in the chair at the end of the hallway and wait, and wait...and wait. Sometimes I feel like they're all open - most of them anyway - and I have the impossible task of deciding. And sometimes, the door I want, just doesn't exist at all.

I relate this all the my current professional existence, as I apply for new jobs, get interviews, don't get interviews, get offers, don't get offers, and have to pick a doorway. I've found myself in the situation between having to choose between money and satisfaction (as they were not simultaneously an option) and I managed to turn down the money. Not an easy door to close. But just as I watched the piles of cash disappear behind the solid oak door, I saw some sunlight peak through down the hallway. So off I go exploring from whence that sunlight appeared. Hopefully some of it is glinting gold!