Me and Him

On February 10 - the date of my last post - I told myself that I would write something every day, even something short, just to keep myself engaged in the writing process. Well, now it's March 7. Oops. I have been doing some more private journal writing (and scientific paper writing, but, yuck!, that doesn't count), yet, I feel disconnected from my blog. When I was in Africa, I wrote ALL the time because everything was new, and there were so many things I wanted to share. Then when I came back here, I wrote because I was depressed.

It seems silly now that I'm not writing because - once again - everything is so new. I've never grown a baby before. Never had to decide on car seats, or diapers, or strollers. I've never watched a little tiny fist (or foot or heel or who knows) push out into the skin of my ever-growing belly. I've certainly never gone this long without sipping from a glass of wine or indulging in raw, wonderful sushi. Nor have I ever had to take a nap every single day because it felt like I couldn't survive without it.

I have to write, though, that being pregnant, hasn't felt particularly overwhelming for me. Of course, I'm speaking of the purely physical part of it - not the part where I think about actually having my baby to take care of in the world. And so writing about it hasn't felt imperative. I usually write to process things, but taking care of this little guy in me has felt mostly effortless. Sure there are times he kicks me so hard I lost my breath. Or he demands that I eat something IMMEDIATELY. But I've never felt like there's him and then there's me. This whole eight months, it just feels like he is me. And we're just going about our mutual business basically status quo (minus the high-impact physical activity and the dietary restrictions).

So I guess I've felt like all this was too boring to write about, since, to me, it doesn't feel like anything has changed in the here and now. (Again - NOT talking about the impending future!) As I consider what I just wrote, being pregnant has certainly been anything but boring. And, if I can actually get myself to do it, I would like to start writing more about all the non-boring stuff this baby and I have been doing lately.